I have the clothes on my back and a six shooter in my right hand. A door is closed in front of me, unlocked. In my pocket, I have the key. Behind me is my family; some crying, some smiling. I look behind them and I can see my childhood: my old house, my old friends smoking a finely crafted blunt, the dogs I grew up with, the red 1991 Volvo 240 I crashed into a tree. In the shadows I see a man that looks like me. He is dressed in a tuxedo; a top had sits slanted, covering his brows. A fat Cuban dangles from his mouth with thick blue smoke sifting from its ember. He winks at me. I unlock the door and place my hand on the knob. As I turn the brass fixture, I hear shrilling, crying, laughing, screaming, snickering on the other side. The door is open. I see blackness, nothingness. I raise the six shooter and reluctantly take a step forward.
Ok, I don't really see any of this. I don't even really feel like this. I'm not even a big fan of guns. However, there is an imminent pressure pressing on me from all sides as the end of my college career nears. Here, maybe I can craft a cool analogy to help people better understand this feeling. In high school, you are like a gull; flying over the ocean, eating tasty fish and just, you know, enjoying life as a gull. Then, college comes around. So, you pursue the knowledge, the bigger, tastier fish. You divc into the ocean. The first couple of years of college, you are swimming around where the light still penetrates the surface. You dine on some better fish, but you can feel a bit of pressure. However, you dive a little further into your last years of college and the pressure becomes greater. The light starts to diminish. The pressure grows greater. When graduation comes around, it is pitch black. There are definitely fish to eat, but you can't locate them as easily.
Now, if you brought a flashlight and a diving suit tailored for gulls with you, you'd be cool (hint, hint…internships). But some people, they don't prepare that well. Like myself. I guess I just grew so excited exploring the ocean, eating some tasty aquatic life, and meeting attractive female gulls that I just, well, didn't prepare. It is ok, though. Because although I can't see very well, and the pressure is imminent, I have faith in my gull abilities.
Maybe that was a poor analogy, but I think you all understand. Its easier to succeed after college if you have prepared. But either way, you are going to feel moments of lonesomeness, darkness, and pressure-ness…if thats a word. Keeping to the parallel sentence format, did you see that? Louie learn.
Well lets see here. I've exhausted the analogy department. Let me talk about my new car. Well, actually, its not new at all. But it is new to me. Out in West St. Augustine sits a 1986 BMW 325 es. When I first saw it, it was in the woods and in shambles. It had holes in the body, a busted engine, and enough water damage to support aquatic life. Yes, I found several specimen of water insect skating on the foot of water sitting in the cab. However, for some reason, it was beautiful to me. So I spoke to my mechanic, the typical short and husky eastern European type, who held the title to the car. The first thing he said to me?
"This car very fast. I wanted to give to my daughter, but my wife said no."
He had me there. I told him to fix it up. The total cost? 5000 dollars. The car is supposed to be ready for Christmas. And I am freaking excited. Now, the point of me telling you this. Well, if all else goes to shit, I am going to drive the shit out of that beautiful piece of German engineering. In class, mind you. It will take me far and wide, all around the country, and I will see all sorts of weird and interesting things to write about. How will I pay for gas? I don't know.
So what else can I do after college to relieve the pressure. Lets see. I could join the military. Become a marine. Get a sweet tattoo on my back. Travel to the Middle East. Get a tan. My mother doesn't like that idea very much and my father says its a bad idea because I've never been one to follow orders. Ok. I don't like the thought of being obliterated by molten copper from a roadside IED anyways.
What else? Oh yeah. I have family that lives in Italy. Specifically, in the city of Piacenza. The city lies in northern Italy, in the foothills of the Apennines. Let me tell you, I've been there, and it is absolutely beautiful. Apparently Ernest Hemingway agrees with me. He once said the Trebbia River Valley is the most beautiful in the world. Val Trebbia cuts right past Piacenza.
While living with my relatives, I would work on a farm and hang out with my cousins. My cousins are freaking bear-people. One of them, his name Luigi, is massive. He literally looks like a bear. And he has a tattoo from the northern Italian special forces on his forearm. The guy is a qualified badass. My grandpa once said that he was the strongest man he has ever seen. My grandfather worked as a blacksmith. Luigi and his brother, Giorgio, work on the farm all day and take care of their mother. They also have a dog named Rambo and they say it in a funny Italian accent like Rum-boe. Roll the "r" of course. Anyways, there I could travel a bit, and again, get some cool things to write about. One goal I've always had for myself is to travel. You know, see the world. I'm sure you all have heard that one before.
Whatever I do, I know I will enjoy myself. I like to think I see the world in a different way. I appreciate beauty when I see it. Even though I may not be completely prepared for the "real" world, I will adjust. I understand that there will always times of darkness and times of great pressure, like the gull in the sea that can strangely hold its breath for four years.
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